Christmas is coming! Vajayjay present suggestions

The Earth has a filthy mind

The Earth has a filthy mind

One of the best things about blogging is obviously the people you get to meet but also the ‘interesting’ things that people start emailing/tweeting you about. And with a blog with the word ‘vagina’ in the title, my electronic gifts seem to be more interesting than most.

Now, I don’t usually allow ads on my blog (other than for other blogs obviously) but I do want to draw people’s attention to the wide variety of vajayjay-themed products you can get.

I don’t mean the hideousness that is ‘feminine hygiene’ products. I mean those gifts and crafts that celebrate, jubilate and honour the minge.

Call them gash goodies, poonanie presents, labia largesse, growler gratuity, beaver bounty, ok…I’ll stop.

The International Vulva Knitting Circle

Vulva knitting is big. I think this is because knitting has come back in a big way recently and as a way to redefine this for a new generation we have done it subversively. The International Vulva Knitting Circle was started as a way to bring grassroots activism to challenge female genital cosmetic surgery and the commercialisation of women’s bodies and sexuality more broadly. This is about using knitting to politicise young women about their sexuality – “the radicalism of making female genitalia visible”. Hurrah.

There is also a Facebook group.

Vulva Portrait Pendants

Thank you the commenter who first linked to this. These are custom-made vulva necklaces. You send in a picture of your (or your loved one’s) front bottom and the artist makes a pendant that resembles it. My favourite bit of the ad says that if you are too shy to send in a picture, you can describe it. I’d love to meet the person too shy to send in a picture of their fanny-foo-far but not so shy that they would wear it as a pendant round their neck.

All things Yoni

As the title suggests, everything you’d ever want (and some things you wouldn’t) gash-themed is here. Yoni is Sanskrit for ‘sacred temple’ and also translates as vagina. I also like the word because it rhymes with my nickname. Coincidence or cosmic connection? Er, coincidence.

The Velvet Vulva

These are beef-curtain shaped bags and purses which are very much associated with the witch-goddess-earth-power type schtick (“radiating feminine energy” yadda yadda). However, anyone who describes their fanny purses are “portals to the feminine temple” deserves my support. I’d recommend the Big Capacity Bags and the vulva hat which I presume gives you that ‘being born’ look.

Best quote: “Indeed, the labia can be reshaped when damp, but not blown dry.”   This is a lesson for life people.

The Cunt Coloring Book

I actually really want this for Christmas. OK, if you’re old enough to colour this in, you’re probably too old to be colouring-in. But sometimes its good to have something to doodle with when on the phone or in work meetings.

I Heart Guts – Uterus

Great shop for all your gut-themed needs. You can also get plush diseases at Giant Microbes so that you can combine a plushy minge with the clap, frinstance.

The uterus is also the third bestseller behind the heart and kidney.

A couple of things that I notice from these: there definitely is a trend for the celebration of the vagina in defiance of the accusations of being religiously unclean. But also that this is mostly emanating from the US/North America. Are we slow to pick up on this in Europe or is it just not that much of a statement here?

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